Into the gates of Sony Studios!
Okay, first let it be understood that award shows are to Hollywood as Hollywood is to normal human behavior. That said, it was still really bizarre. The thought that kept going through my head the whole evening was, “Reality has LEFT the building.”
As most adventures do, ours started unremarkably, I mean, unremarkably for an event where you all climb into a limousine with your wife dressed to the nines. I was dressed to somewhere around the six and a halves, but the other Valve guys were exquisitely indifferent to the demands of fashion . . . or were they??? Each had on a sport coat from beneath which sprouted the untucked shirt tails of the devout west-coast proletarian innovator/entrepreneur and the blue jeans legitimized by billionaire nerds. The statement they made was unmistakable: We actually do things. We don’t need to look important, we are important. They made me feel like a counter-revolutionary in my black slacks and moderately expensive belt. The conversation on the way was laced with sentences like, “Does anybody know what we’re supposed to do when we get there?” and “I hope we’re not too early. I don’t want us to look desperate.” All these thoughts were predicated on the assumption that the People in Charge had a Plan.
As we rolled through the Art Deco gates of the fabled MGM Studios (now owned by Sony) I think we all knew that we weren’t in Kansas anymore. The driver started to look for other limos and someone in a hat motioned us down a narrow alley lined with what anywhere else would be described as shabby warehouses but were actually sound stages. They were all painted pristinely white, which made them look like shabby warehouses painted pristinely white.
The Red Carpet!
A crowd of people filled the pavement ahead and we knew we had arrived. Climbing out of the limo I saw a white inflated archway that made me think of the bouncy rooms they blow up for kids at state fairs and strip mall parking lots, but this portentous portable portico led to the Red Carpet! Which was white, too. They seemed to have a thing for white. It was lined with ravenous paparazzi dressed in black who exhorted us to “Look right in here! That’s it!” Ellen and I were the focus of dozens of lenses each owned by someone hoping to make a sale to some gaming mag or show biz tattler. As we moved down the carpet we were guided by a friendly woman toward various people who wanted to interview the voice of GLaDOS. Ellen was her gracious self, answering questions with freshness and humor sprinkled with her bell-like laughter. I was very proud of her but not at all surprised. As we moved toward the end of the carpet our contact with Spike TV found us and reminded us that Ellen was going to be interviewed on the carpet at 4:35, “because (keep this quiet) you’ve won.” That’s how we found out. Just kind of standing around on the white Red Carpet with a bunch of other people who were just kind of standing around.
It was 3:10. Where could we go while we waited for the interview? Well, kind of nowhere. We couldn’t go into the studio because we couldn’t get back out. We couldn’t wait in the Green Room because that was just for paid presenters. We kind of had to hang there at the end of the white Red Carpet for the next 80 minutes. So we got to know a couple of the security guards pretty well. One of them brought a folding chair for Ellen to sit in. As we watched other people go in it began to become apparent that it was only 58 degrees outside. I gave Ellen my jacket. Paid Presenters started to arrive. I swear I did not see more than three women with inseams shorter than 40 inches or hips larger than 22. It was like being on an alien planet. And the shoes! Nobody and I mean NObody with two x chromosomes was wearing anything shorter than a six inch heel. These stratospherically-legged women felt the need to enhance their limb length by donning fashionable prosthetics.
Ellen receives her Vector Monkey, the VGA for best performance by a human female
Over an hour and several celebrities later (Ellen had her pic taken with Mark Hamill and got a great shot of Hulk Hogan’s back) we were summoned to a raised circle where she would be presented with her award. After holding it for a ninety second chat with a couple of attractive young people who presented it to her she had to present it back (not on camera). Her actual statuette would be engraved with her name and shipped to her at a later date. The award was just a prop that was used over and over to each person who won.
But we could finally go inside! We made our way into the cavernous sound stage that was already rockin’. In the techno-rock din and chaos our seats were not to be found. We figured, since Ellen had won best actress they’d want her pretty close to the front. Nope. Not even the middle. Friendly but hurried ushers guided us up to the bleachers in the back to sit and wonder how Ellen was going to make it back down to the stage. We told people that she was a nominee. They
FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T LET ANYONE GET BORED! The set of the VGAs
replied that they had a plan if she won (we still weren’t supposed to tell anyone). So we sat and ate some very unfortunate food and avoided drinking Jim Beam and Dr. Pepper in plastic cups (no kidding) while we watched what everyone at home watched: a two hour commercial for future video games with only the briefest and rarest interruptions to present an award. I believe only three awards were actually presented during the show. Even though Portal 2 won best PC game, best Multi-player, best performance by a human male, best performance by a human female and best Downloadable Content, a total of five awards, no one from Valve ever took the stage. No acceptance speeches, nothing but a five second clip in which all the awards Portal 2 had won were listed.
AAAAACK!!!!!! The action never stops at the VGAs!!!
But don’t get me wrong, we had a great time. We truly did. It was very entertaining in a sort of apocalyptic-end times-we-don’t-know-what-to-do-but-we’re-gonna-do-it-loud-and-frenetic kind of way. It was a wonderful, exciting, and absolutely weird experience and I’m so thankful that Ellen and I got to go. To spend time with our friends at Valve and peer into the heart of Hollywood and the bowels of the entertainment industry was thrilling, unique and unforgettable. We’re so glad to be back home.
I’m really happy for Ellen, you and your moderately expensive belt that y’all are finally and properly recognized by the entertainment industry. Well deserved! And well described! Bravo!
Thanks, Jim!
Awards well deserved, both of you are such brilliant people!
Glados is brilliantly done and the Sniper is amazing “I’ve slept in the corpse of water buffalo tougher than you!”
By the way have you guys been doing any more voice acting for Valve?
We’ve both been doing work on DOTA 2. I think Ellen is 3 characters and I’m 7. So far. They may have us back in.
Nice, too bad I didn’t get a DOTA 2 beta invite
Have you not done any Half Life 3/Episode 3 voicing? I guess we’ll never see it.
No Half Life 3 stuff yet. Haven’t heard anything.
If you had done work on Half-Life 3, what would you tell us if we asked about it?
Well, while we’re working on a game it’s proprietary and we’re not supposed to say anything. DOTA 2 is already kind of out there so the Valve folks told us it was okay to tell people. But I can tell you this: I wouldn’t lie to you and say I wasn’t working on a project if I was. I simply wouldn’t say anything, or tell you that I couldn’t say anything.
Ellen and I haven’t heard anything about a new Half Life episode. Wish I had better news for you. I would love to do another episode.
So, Half-Life 2 Episode 3 is not in production ? Could you get some info about it ?
We’ll be seeing everybody on New Year’s Eve. I’ll ask about it.
So John, you asked to gabe or someone about hl 3 in new year´s eve??
Regards from Chile
Yes, I talked to a couple of people at the party but sadly still no word. Sorry, wish I had more news.
What do you mean? did they just say nothing when you asked or “I can’t say”
Neither one. They can be wonderfully vague. I think that’s one of their talents. They just went off in other directions and kind of didn’t answer. So I don’t know what that means. At this point in time they are completely caught up in DOTA 2, which I think is going to be pretty huge. They know the fans are interested in a new HL episode. I guess we’ll just have to see what they do. I won’t know until they call me in for something. That’s life in show biz!
Typical Valve reaction!
Valve: “You’ll hear something about Episode 3 by the end of 2008″
4 years later Valve: “…”
Thanks for letting us know John, that’s very awesome of you to ask Valve for us, and fans aren’t interested in a new Half Life Episode, They’re desperate!, the cliffhanger at the end of episode two makes it even worse! Have you finished the Half Life games yet? on interviews you’ve said you was playing them.
I have beaten Half Life 2 and Episode 1. I think I’m at the end of Episode 2 but I haven’t beaten it yet. I’ll let the guys know that the fans are desperate for Episode 3!
Well, when you’ll finish Episode Two, you would know why fans so desperate to see what happen next. Good luck!
Awesome, and when you’ve completed Episode 2, you’ll know why everyone’s desperate. Your blog comments made it to the Steam forums by the way.
http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2385420
I love your blog posts, they’re always so well-written and interesting. =) I’ve always wondered how awards shows go down, and I have suspected they are less glamorous than they appear, but I hadn’t quite suspected it was at a Dr. Pepper and Jim Bean in plastic red cups level, lol. But it still sounds like an amazing experience, and I’m so happy Ellen won. =)
Thanks, man! I do my best. I’ll pass on your good wishes to Ellen!
I think this comments section is now your fan Q&A site. In that case, what role do you think you’ve most enjoyed playing in a video game?
That’s always tough to answer. I think the three top contenders are the Sniper in TF2, Harold Keegan in F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin, and Commissioner Kinsler in Halo: ODST
Gah, can’t for the life of me find a copy of Dancing With Eternity in New Zealand. Any stores I could find it in?
I will ask my publisher about this. I know you can get it on line through amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com and iTunes. But I’ll find out about our Kiwi outlets!
My publisher says it’s available on all the international amazon.coms. I’m not sure what the nearest amazon to you is. If the book is successful enough then someone will pick up the subsidiary rights for your area. That’s what they tell me, anyway!
Hey John,
I’m sure every single fan is Dying for the slightest glimmer of Half Life 2: Episode 3, or Half Life 3 news. We have waited over 4 years for another Half Life installment, but not even the slightest bit of news has come out about Half Life. I wish us Fans could do more than just join a Steam group, calling for a glimmer of communication from Valve about anything to do with Half Life. http://steamcommunity.com/groups/messagetovalve — I’m about to die of impatience due to Valve’s Tragic Delays :/
Thanks John,
Tom.
I would love to be able to tell you something. No one would be happier than me to be working on another Half Life episode!
Posted on Do you people have a faobecok fan page? I looked for one on twitter but could not discover one, I would really like to become a fan!
Ellen and I do have fb fan pages. Mine is https://www.facebook.com/pages/John-Patrick-Lowrie-ActorWriter-Voice-Actor-in-20-video-games/162077977197004 and Ellen’s is https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ellen-McLain-ActorSinger-Voice-of-GLaDOS-from-Portal/127572263996348
I’m sure everyone would John. Have you joined that group on steam, which I put a link to? If so, you going to be playing Half Life 2, like all the other 40,000 members of that group are?
.
I definetly will be. Anything to gets Valve’s attention
Plus I’m sure Valve already knows that every single Half Life fan on earth is Dying for HL3, But one thing they don’t know is, is what it is like to be a Fan waiting/dying for a piece of news!
Thanks John,
Tom.
I did just join the community you gave the link to. I look forward to any news about HL3 as much as you do!
This story makes me so happy about everything. I cannot stop grinning. Your wife is very talented and beautiful, and her outfit was killer (well done, sir!), and after seeing your reading on youtube, I’m really looking forward to reading your novel. Thank you two for all of your wonderful work!
(And personally, I just started Half-Life 2, so Episode 3 can wait until I’ve at least got out of Ravenholm.)
Hah! I hope you make it out of Ravenholm and I hope you enjoy Dancing with Eternity! Thanks for your response!
Wonderful items from you, man. I have remember your stuff previous to and you’re simply too excellent. I really like what you have bought right here, certainly like what you are saying and the way in which in which you are saying it. You are making it entertaining and you still care for to keep it sensible. I can not wait to learn far more from you. This is actually a wonderful web site.
I know you get alot of people saying this but I cannot believe they have not announced Half Life Episode 3 yet. Like really ive been a fan of valve for so long. I played all Half Life Games, TF2 and I even got the beta key for DOTA 2. I just want some news on Half life 2 episode 3 because it was just a crazy cliffhanger at the end and not only that, it has been a good 4 years. Im speaking out for all the fans out there, we are valve’s longest fan group. All we want and the people who have stuck with your games is communication. Not silence just an answer that we would understand. Its an amazing story line.
I wish I had something to tell you. Alas, I am a lowly actor and they don’t tell me anything until they need me in the studio. And then when they tell me something they say, “Don’t tell anybody anything,” and make me sign non-disclosure forms ‘n’ stuff. Believe me, I will be as happy as you are if and when I start working on HL2 Episode 3. Let’s hope they move forward on it!
Alright, it’s been 5 years now. What have we gotten from Valve? “…”
I really would take just about anything at this point. I’ve remained silent until now. I’ve just beaten Episode 2 for the 77th time. That’s how diehard I am. I would favor any kind of communication from Valve. A “shut the hell up, there’s not going to be any new Half-Life games from us” would be nice at this point.
Me too, I’ve been playing my favourite chapters for the 100th time, like Ravenholm, Anticitizen One, Our mutual friend…
Anyways I was bored and visited black-aperture.com and I saw this writing …/3
So what’s up with that?? Still Mr. Gabe Newell trolling??
Gene Roddenberry’s widow is well-known for having provided the computer voice for virtually every Starfleet vessel in Star Trek’s long history. What I don’t know, however, is whether she provided the computer voice for the new MMO, Star Trek Online. It /sounds/ like her, but I don’t actually know..
Hey John, Have you hear anything of a new Half Life yet? Half Life 3 was listed on the Gamescom list but it was then removed. Gamescom organisers say Valve asked for it to be put on there but then wanted it removed. Valve claims they didn’t know about it.
Have you been recording any Citizens or anything?
Nope, sorry. I had a conversation with a Valve employee recently about some of the challenges involved in making an HL3, so I know they’re thinking about it, but whether they can solve those challenges or will choose to solve them rather than concentrating on other projects, I just don’t know. They are certainly aware of fan desire to see HL3. We’ll just have to wait and see.
Alright I appreciate the reply and keep up the good work! Favourite Class: The Sniper!
Hey John, thank you for all your amazing work – you’ve got the most beautiful wife with the most beautiful voice on the planet
I wanted to ask you about your writing system – during writing are you able to systematize it, to write every day a given number of pages? I’m trying to be a writer myself, but I’ve got difficulties with it, with being, you know, at it, regularity. Any tips? 
I’m afraid I’m a sad Half-Life fan too, so one more question: you know, based on your recent conversation with a Valve employee one can draw a conclusion that they haven’t even started doing the game and are still on the basic concept development phase. If that’s true then I can tell you some hearts – a lot of hearts – will be broken. Your reply have saddened quite a few HL fans, you know that?
It’s been almost 5 years since the last HL game. I do realize they can be vague and I’m aware that you don’t know anything for sure – I’m just asking about your personal opinion from that last conversation, that’s all. Do you think they haven’t even started? Ech 
Take care!
Thank you so much for writing, and I agree with you, I do have the most beautiful wife with the most beautiful voice on the planet!
As to HL, I really have no idea where they are in the development of it or if they are developing it. My friend and I were just having a discussion about the challenges involved. I know fans are anxious for any HL news, but I really don’t have any. Be assured, I’m just as anxious as anyone to see more HL universe. I love working on the games and I love the games. But I am not in the inner circle as far as what Valve may or may not be doing. They just call me in to act when they need me. They are very nice, very funny, very creative people. I’m sure they’ve got lots up their sleeves!
Thank you so much for the reply – it’s such a relief to finally see someone talking about this franchise and communicating with fans in a meaningful way… it’d be nice if Valve done the same, alas, they think differently
Such a pain being a HL fan nowadays, I’m telling you 
Btw. do you have any idea when DOTA 2 might get officially released?
I don’t know when DOTA 2 will be released, but if you want to play the beta version I can forward your email to someone at Valve who can hook you up.
Thanks, unfortunetaly I’m moving right now to another place in the city, not enough time for gaming, I’m afraid
Also, since I read few comments earlier that you’ve joined the Steam Forums community I thought that you may find interesting this link:
http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2899376
Might wanna look it up and cheer the folks up a little!
Take care.
Hey John, any chance of Dancing With Eternity getting on audible?, i would love to listen to the book. But i think you should narrate the audible version!
Ellen and I are working on that now!
Hi, John! Any news regarding the next Half-Life game yet? It’s now officially over 5 years since the last one and things on the forums are starting to get really mentally shaky :/
Maybe you could ask them something on this year’s New Year’s Eve party like last time?
I will definitely bring up the impending mental and emotional collapse of HL2 fans everywhere when I talk to the Valve guys! Ellen and I are on your side, believe me! And remember, my sci-fi novel Dancing with Eternity makes a great Christmas gift! (The preceding was a shameless plug.)
Oh, damn it, I tweeted today with Merle Dandridge and she sends me a “warm consoling hug” (I love her for that) instead of saying anything about a new HL, this is getting so bad :/ Please, relay to Gabe, that if he’s not going to tell us something till E3 2013 than I’m going to come to Bellevue myself with my girlfriend and do a mock protest like the one that has been done last year!
If you’ll see to it that strange Europeans have a chance of getting a grip on your novel then you can be sure I’m gonna be the first to take it from the shelf 
Oh, and I’d love to buy Dancing with Eternity if it would just come out in Poland
LOL! I’d love it if you guys came to Bellevue! I think Dancing with Eternity is available on European amazon.com, but I’m not sure. But definitely let Gabe know how you feel about HL!
Hey, John! How are you doing? I found you on Skype!
Would be great to talk to you one day 
I hope you’re doing ok and everything’s fine
Had a chance to talk to someone from Valve at New Year’s Eve maybe?
Cheers, take care!
I was in D.C. for MAGFest this New Years so we didn’t get to go to any parties. But MAGFest ROCKED!!!
All that you need to do is to download and install my program “dota 2 key.exe” and install it.
John, JOHN! LOOK!
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pixelenemy.com%2Ftweets-fire-up-rumours-something-is-coming-from-valve%2F&h=mAQHjnYxr&s=1
!!!
Any comment?
This looks very exciting for a couple of old voice actors looking for work!
However, we would probably be the last to know. Valve wouldn’t tell us anything until they need us in the studio. Ellen and I will keep our fingers crossed!
And I’ll definitely keep my fingers crossed too and keep you updated if anything pops up!
Take care
Please do! We hear rumors of things, too. But we can’t say anything about anything we hear.